Sea Monkeys Make Great Pets!

Dog: *clickclickclickclickclickclick* *POKE* *clickclickclickclickclickclick*
Dog: *clickclickclickclickclickclick* *POKE* *clickclickclickclickclickclick*
Dog: *clickclickclickclickclickclick* *POKE* *clickclickclickclickclickclick*
Dog: *clickclickclickclickclickclick* *POKE* *clickclickclickclickclickclick*
Dog: *clickclickclickclickclickclick* *POKE*

ME: OMG WHAT THE HELL. It is 3AM and you keep walking in here every 43 minutes, poking me in the face with your nose and walking out. WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?
Dog: Just making sure you're ok.
Me: I'M FINE. GO AWAY.
Dog: Ok. Now that you're up I can go to sleep. You really should relax, you seem tense.
Me: I should have gotten sea monkeys.

DINNERTIME!

Dogs: DINNERTIME!
Me: Not yet.
Dogs: DINNERTIME! We will prove it.
Me: How?
Dogs: By getting in your face and bugging the crap out of you until you relent. 
Dogs: pacepacepacepacepace
Dogs: whinewhinewhinewhine
Dogs: CAN SIT ON YOUR LAP?
Dogs: WE WILL CHEW OUR BUTTS IN FRONT OF YOU
Dogs: HEY GIRL! WE LURRRRVE YOU!
Kate: Go AWAY!
Dogs: MomMomMomMomMomMomMomMomMomDadMomMom
Me: Go to your room.
Dogs: You win this round

It was sucking your will to live

Saturday, 6:15 am....

Me: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Dogs: BARKBARKBARKBARKBARKBARK!!!!
Me: wtf? huh?
Dogs: BARKBARKBARKBARKBARKBARKBARKBARKBARK!!!!
Me: WHAT ARE YOU BARKING AT?
Dogs: The cat. Across the street. It was breathing oxygen. WE SAVED YOU. IT WAS SUCKING YOUR WILL TO LIVE. IT WOULD HAVE USED UP ALL THE OXYGEN.
Me: *groan* (pillow over head)
Dogs: Can you get up and let us out now? A freak out like that really makes us have to pee. Plus there's stuff in the back yard we haven't barked at yet today.
Me: Go ask Dad.

When invisomites attack

Dogs: BARKBARKBARKBARKBARKBARK!
Me: What?
Dogs: Not you.
Me: Oh.
Dogs: BARKBARKBARKBARKBARKBARKBARKBARKBARK!
Me: WHAT?
Dogs: Not you.
Me: Then WHO?
Dogs: The Evil Invisomites. They're swarming and we mus protect you from them. BARKBARKBARKBARKBARKBARK!!!
Me: OMG shut UP.

Goose and his kitty

Dog: KITTEH! I LURRRRRVE YOU!
Cat: you are merely a moving target
Dog: KITTEH! I NOM YOUR HEAD!
Cat: all the better, closer- yes, come closer
Dog: KITTEH! YOU HAZ A POINTY TOE STUCK IN MAH FACE!
Cat: if only it was poisoned.

Snuggle time!

Dogs: WE LURRRRRVE YOU! WANT TO SNUGGLE?
Me: No.
Dogs: WE WILL KEEP YOU WARM!
Me: Go away. It's eleventybillion degrees.
Dogs: LET OUR BREATH SAVE YOU FROM FREEEEEZING.
Me: I wish it was freezing and your breath smells like you've been eating chum.
Dogs: WE CAN MAKE THE BED COZY FOR YOUUUUU.
Me: OMG GO AWAY.

Quesadilla??

Dogs: whatchoo got now?
Me: quesadilla.
Dogs: FOR US?!
Me: no. Go away.
Dogs: WE LURRRRRVE YOU. LET US BREEEEATHE ON YOU!
Me: don't care. Go away.
Dogs: WE LURRRRRRVE QUESADILLAS! LET US BREEEEATHE ON IT!
Me: OMG. Go AWAY.